Zoey's last day of preschool was Friday. Per tradition, all the kids put on a little ten-minute musical program for the moms and dads. In the past, this is what my sweet little girl has done during the Christmas and End Of Year programs: argued with another child at two separate programs, twirled her halo around her arm, played with grass for an entire program, and kissed another girl. But she did manage to sing one freaking word at one of her programs.
So she was due for a breakout performance, you know?
I would love to tell you how she stood up straight the whole time. How she belted out every word correctly with pride. How she acted out every hand gesture. But I can't.
Things stared off well. She was actually half-singing the first song. I started feeling a little cocky.
Hallelu, Hallelujah was the next song. Oh, no, I thought. Please don't let her have the 'Praise Ye The Lord' part.
Denied!
Thankfully, she wasn't singing loud enough for the audience to pick up on it. But there was my little girl, smiling proudly as she sang Crazy The Lord! I should have nipped that in the bud when I had a chance.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the highlight of the production.
Zoey quickly became bored (I really have no worries about turning into a Pageant Mom; the girl's got no desire for the stage). Since there was no grass nearby for her to play with, she turned her attention to something else.
Her dress.
She reached down and pulled the hem of her dress up to her chest, flashing the audience. People started laughing. So she did it again. And again. And again. She did it 12,347 times during the next eight minutes.
Actually, she probably only did it five times. It just seemed like 12,347.
So I now have videotape of her kissing a girl and flashing the audience at two separate programs. I should be ready when she inevitably shows up on Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break 2019.
GHS: 10
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