Weekly Random Thoughts On The Yankees
The New York Yankees are 8-8 and two games behind Boston. Ugh.Good News: The Yankees are 7-4 in their last eleven games.
Bad News: The Yankees have only won one series this season.
Worse News: The Yankees are 1-8 in games in which they've scored five runs or fewer.
Sunday Morning Hangover
Here are some of the more interesting/entertaining posts I've come across this week:- Dutch and Wood discuss the birth of their relationship.
- Genuine shares his first time.
- Kristen (from Home On The Fringe) discovers why role-playing with her son always ventures to the dark side.
- Kristen (from Motherhood Uncensored) impersonates her favorite female bloggers.
- Lucinda and her husband are potty-trained by their daughter.
- MC GGC (Girl's Gone Child) lays down another awesome track. Word.
- Weirdgirl lists items parents should be able to include on their résumés.
More Fun With Google
Here are some recent search terms people have used to get to my site:- M&M marriage on the rocks
Um, dude? I think you want to search for Eminem marriage on the rocks. Unless you know something about the candy world I don't. - i dont want to be buried
Neither do I. I want to be stuffed and displayed in the family room. - preschooler playing with his feces
Stop him! Then look it up on Google. - zoey girls gone wild
Which one of you bastards performed this search just to mess with my head? - fish head stew
Nothing funny here, but I did learn this week that there are quite a few people looking for fish head stew. So if you have a recipe, please pass it along. - tomboy daughter takes top off to play sports
Why do I feel like I'll be telling stories like this in a few years? - do you ever find yourself humming or singing parts of a TV commercial
Not often. See, I have TiVo, the world's greatest invention, so I fast forward through most commercials. - Kids give you gray hair
And ulcers, migraines, and an ever-shrinking savings account. - "gates of hell" sex story toy
Is that where one of you dresses up as the Devil? I really want to know what this person was looking for.
- how to raise a neurotic child
Follow my lead.
Stuff Only You Care About
Every so often in this space I plan to answer readers' questions like MetroDad does (only my answers will be neither interesting nor amusing). So if you have a question about my family or me, would like to see me elaborate on something I've written, would like parenting advice (snicker), or just want to ask a silly question, drop me a line. As long as it's not too revealing (remember, I'm extremely paranoid (and you'll see why after I answer this week's question)), I'll try to answer a few questions every week or so.Unless there's a total lack of interest. Which very well may be the case as I am not very interesting.
Here's this week's question:
Several people wondered about the death threats I alluded to in my Cynical Dad 3.0 (A Love Letter To John & Kristen) entry.
Before I was a Cynical Dad, I was an Angry Young Man. I wrote a monthly web 'zine that parodied and satirized anyone and everyone. In the process, I irritated and/or confused many people, including Southern Baptists, English professors, and in one case, an Amnesty International representative.
But nothing I did caused as much harm as writing three simple words: No thank you.
I accepted submissions from readers on my old site. One day, I received a poem from a woman. It was bad. Rambling, drunk-at-open-mike-night bad. Stuff about space and Jesus and the Virgin Mary. I sent her back an email that read "No thank you."
Big mistake.
She started sending more and more poems, every one worse than the one before it. I must've received fifty or sixty poems from her (I even published some of them on my site (but none of the death threat ones) after things cooled down a bit). But I never responded to a single one.
Apparently, the only thing worse than rejecting a psychopath is ignoring a psychopath.
I soon became the subject matter (along with space, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary). Her poems turned nastier and nastier. Towards the end, she was talking about cutting out my eyeballs and my tongue. Silly stuff like that.
I laughed at the emails. But I was also single. Now, I have a wife and kids to worry about. That's why I don't actively try to piss off people anymore. And try not to reveal too much about myself.
You asked.
