WILD THINGS
We made it through the weekend in one piece. Both kids had fun at the birthday party (which was held at a Little Gym in a nearby town) until the very end. Zed got hungry so I had to feed him. Unfortunately, this coincided with the present opening portion of the party. And everyone who has ever been to a birthday party with ten or more toddlers knows how frustrating opening presents can be. You've got the guest of honor s--l--o--w--l--y opening his/her gifts while a bunch of little vultures hover nearby, unable to comprehend why this kid gets all these presents while they're not getting a thing. Total. Chaos. All I could do was sit back and hope Zoey didn't cause too much trouble. But she was good, especially in comparison with some of the other kids.When we returned from the party, Ella was home. I gave her a kiss, handed her the kids, and
Next time Ella leaves town, we're hiring a nanny to help me. Preferably, a hot little number.
WHAT ABOUT BOB?
I didn't finish in the top 4 (out of 10) in the Best Daddy Blog category in this year's BOB Awards. Can't say I'm too surprised; I was up against nine great sites. Like last time, I managed to get a little more than 3% of the popular vote. Ouch!Why do I suddenly feel like Susan Lucci?
Anyway, I'd like to thank the my friends at Child's Play x2, Friday Playdate, MFA Mama, Morphing Into Mama, and My Own Circle Of Confusion for encouraging their readers to vote for me. I'd also like to thank and anyone and everyone who voted for me.
Finally, I'd like to thank the folks behind the BOB Awards. You guys sent a lot of new readers my way and introduced me to a lot of blogs I wasn't familiar with, including my current fave, Blogography.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
Dutch and Wood are hosting The First Annual Sweet Juniper Weird Search Hit Contest. I've been visiting a few times a day toUnfortunately, I have only been receiving disturbing searches lately. Go to Google and type in I hate you daddy and guess who's the #1 result? Why do I feel that will also be the #1 phrase uttered by my children in the future?
I've also been receiving a lot of pedophilic searches lately. Remember, I am a dad who writes about his daughter a lot. I have posts entitled Porn Or Toddlerspeak: You Make The Call!, Is There A Way To Segue From Vomit To Fellatio?, and Sex And The Suburbs. You can imagine the searches I've received. Sick bastards.
The way I look at is if I can keep these sickos on my site for even thirty seconds, I may distract them enough that they'll forget what they were originally searching for.
I. Am. Naive.
