Ugh. Sickness has once again ravaged the Cynical Dad household. And I'm too tired to be funny (and you think to yourself, "The rest of the stuff on this site is supposed to be funny?"). I apologize in advance.
After dinner last night, Zoey started complaining of a tummy ache. Ella gave Zoey her bath while she complained and whined the entire time (Zoey, not Ella). Ella put her to bed. Forty-five minutes later, the whining started again. I went in her room and checked on her, but Zoey was just thrashing around in the bed, still asleep but moaning. I didn't think much of it. About five minutes later, the moaning got a little louder.
I went in her room to find her standing on her bed, vomiting all over the place. Fun times!
After she got it out of her system, she seemed to be much better. She wasn't whiny and was talking and giggling while Ella gave her another bath. We changed the sheets on her bed, read her a few more books, and tucked her into bed again.
Twenty minutes later, more vomit!
Since she was now out of linens for her bed, we decided Zoey would sleep with Ella, and I would sleep in the guest bedroom. Ella got her cleaned up and let her watch television (by now it was midnight) in the bed. Thank God for PBS Kids!
Sixty minutes later, more vomit! Of course, nothing was left in her system at this point, so it was the clear kind that of vomit one can really get some distance out of (especially if you retained anything from Physics class).
Another bath. More sheets on our bed. More vomit thirty minutes later (this would be a good point to use the phrase ad nauseam, but it's a little too pun-errific for my tastes, so let's just forget I brought it up, okay?).
The last of the vomiting finally occurred around 5:00 AM. But then our old friend Mr. Fever showed up! She has just been lying around the house all day, taking long, frequent naps. Hell, I wanted to as well after last night's fun, but since Zed is apparently some mutant half-shark-half-man creature and is getting a second row of teeth behind his first row, I had to walk him around the house while Zoey was sleeping. When Zoey was awake, the poor boy would just look at me from either his bouncy seat or his playpen as if to say, "Dude? Over here! Why aren't you carrying me around?"
If I find the Outbreak monkey that has been passing on all these germs to Zoey, I'm gonna... give his mom an angry glare in the preschool parking lot! That'll show 'em!
And On A Lighter Note
Lots of people end up here by doing crazy searches via Google. My favorite Google search term of the week: college fellatio parties. I'm sorry, dude, but you came to the wrong site for that. And if you eventually found what you were looking for on some other site, you are one lucky man.I miss college.
GHS: 4
