Zoey turned four years old on Saturday. I know what you're thinking. Dude? Your daughter turned four on Saturday and you're just now writing about it? What kind of daddyblogger are you? I suck. I'll turn in my membership card and forget the secret handshake, okay?
Last year, we had a three-day celebration to mark the occasion. This year, we decided to go a little more low-key and do everything in one day. We went to Krispy Kreme for breakfast (shut up, it was her birthday!) and then came home so she could open her gifts.
Like last year, we had her birthday party at Pump It Up. We tried to bribe threaten encourage her to have it somewhere (ANYWHERE!) else, but everyone in her little clique has their birthday parties there, so she had to have her party there as well. Follower.
There were twenty-nine kids at her birthday party. I know. Just a tad excessive. But once you invite the preschool class, a few kids from the neighborhood, a few kids from the gymnastics class, relatives, children of our friends, and a few random siblings from the aforementioned groups, you suddenly have TWENTY-NINE kids.
Next year, in lieu of invitations, we're just placing an ad in the newspaper.
The party was going great until I noticed Beth crying in her mother's arms. I went over to investigate. "I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!" she was screaming. She refused to open her eye. So I went to the other room and made an ice pack for her. I sat with Beth and her mother for about five minutes until we decided a trip to the emergency room might be in order.
I returned to the party and rode the slide with Zed until my father-in-law came running up to me. He had lost his cellular phone and assumed he had left it at the grocery store. He wanted me to walk around the store with him and call his phone number on my cellular phone in the hopes we would hear his phone ring. I had just spent the previous ten minutes pretending to be a doctor and he wanted me to leave my daughter's birthday party to help him find his cellular phone.
I gave him my cellular phone and wished him luck.
After they had jumped and pumped it up for ninety minutes, all the sweaty little creatures retired to the party room for cake. Beth returned to the party with ten minutes to spare. She had gauze wrapped around her head and eye. Apparently, someone had scratched her retina or cornea or some important part of her eye. But at least she came back for cake. What a trooper!
We have had five birthday parties for our children (four for Zoey, one for Zed). We've had two near-choking incidents and one scratched eye. That's a 60% failure rate. So I've decided that we're not having any more birthday parties for the kids. Either that or we just dress everyone in bubble wrap. There will be no eating, no playing, and no fun; just a bunch of bubble-wrapped kids sitting quietly.
And definitely no more Chuck E. Cheese's!
We took Zoey to Chuck E. Cheese's on Saturday night (donuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner; we suck). Chuck E. Cheese's is always crazy. But Saturday nights at Chuck E. Cheese's are a special kind of crazy. There were five official birthday parties (the ones where people actually reserve tables in front of the scary animatronic characters), three semi-official birthday parties (smaller parties with cake), and at least one semi-semi-official birthday party (us (no cake)).
You couldn't move in the place. There were unsupervised kids running wild everywhere! At one point, someone's baby crawled up to me. I calmly placed her in the Lost And Found box.
In all, I counted 824 kids running around the restaurant. And only twenty-seven parents. Is there some secret room in the back where the in-the-know parents hang out? They serve alcohol in that room, don't they?
God knows I could've used some.
GHS: 10
More Birthday Party Fun:
Zoeypalooza 2005 -- Day One
Zoeypalooza 2005 -- Day Two
Zoeypalooza 2005 -- Day Three
Of Princess Parties And Candle Fellatio
Because It's Not A Birthday Party Until You're Performing The Heimlich Maneuver
It's All Fun And Games Until Someone (Almost) Loses An Eye
