I realize I haven't done this in awhile, so enjoy these recent interesting/amusing/demented search phrases people have used to get to my site:
What kind of dad am I?
Folks, Google is not your psychiatrist. It is not a Magic 8-Ball. It does not cure herpes. It is a search engine. Treat it as such.
smile for mr camera show me your teeth school picture day
Is it just me or does this creep you out too?
all different kind of poems for dads who are not there for there child
How about this one:
Dad, since you've gone, my life's gone to hell.
If only you had stayed, maybe I would have learned to spell.
catch-it cost cat diapers
Moving along...
beethoven drunk and bitch father
Do you ever get the feeling that some people just type random words into Google just to see what pops up? Like they're playing some sort of Web Mad Libs or something?
caillou is a whiny bitch
See? I'm not the only person who feels this way.
daddy died holding me poems
Did a pirate perform this search? Arrrrrh! Ahoy, me matey!
It's late. I apologize for that corny joke.
attention grabber for the heimlich maneuver
Stick out your tongue. Make your eyes bug out of your head. Put your hands to your throat. Turn purple. Hopefully this will grab someone's attention.
"class picture" "kid vomiting"
Yikes! Someone won't be ordering extra prints this year.
diaper changing how many times per day
Dude? Diaper changing happens on an as-needed basis. You can't just say around 6:30 PM, "But I've already changed your diaper your allotted nine times today! You'll have to stew in it until morning."
Is Dad supposed to celebrate Mother's Day?
If Dad wants to live to see Father's Day.
really bored mommies
... read Cynical Dad! Meet my new slogan.
i don't like soccer moms and soccer moms don't like me
Then take your ball and go home.
a story about a freshly scrubbed floor
Oooooh! Erotica for obsessive-compulsives.
how can i tell what my children look like
Um, look at them?
derek jeter and johnny damon Brokeback Mountain
Which one of my Red Sox readers performed this search? Arwen?
change diaper blindfolded
Some people need to find new ways to add a little excitement to their lives.
elephant wrinkles laurie berkner
Yeah, I think Laurie's looking a little rough lately, too. But elephant wrinkles? That's a little harsh.
How to handle someone who is always late
Kill them. Seriously, nobody digs tardiness.
Satan Fellatio
If any of you have a fourteen-year-old son trying to name his garage band, please pass this along. He (and I) will thank you for it.
Previous Search Engine Fun:
Stuff Only I Care About VIII
Stuff Only I Care About VI
Stuff Only I Care About IV
Stuff Only I Care About
In Lieu Of An Actual Entry, Let's Make Fun Of Stupid People!
