Imperial Drag: Boy Or A Girl
Zoey has become obsessed with trucks lately. Dump trucks. Cement mixers. Trucks I cannot identify because I'm less of a man than most. If we see a dump truck, she'll want to know what it's carrying, where it's heading, and if we can follow it.Tell me again what it is like to have a daughter?
The Dead Milkmen: Moron
As I was on my way to Target yesterday, I noticed two fourteen-year-old boys on the sidewalk. One was sitting in a child's red wagon, wearing a helmet, while the other kid, also wearing a helmet, was running at full speed, pulling the kid in the wagon behind him. The kid in the wagon was hitting the other kid with a stick as they were traveling down the sidewalk. It looked like they were in a deranged chariot race or something. Most people would've shook their heads in disbelief and moved on.What goes through my mind? Someday, idiots like that will want to date my daughter. Kill me now.
Butch Walker: Lights Out
I added another site I've really been digging lately to my Narcikidstic Sites list, (This) Girl's Gone Child. She's hip, funny, and has a great writing style. Plus, she's got a cute kid with a cool name. And one of the coolest website names around.The Replacements: I'll Be You
I know most kids like to pretend they're characters they see on television. Zoey likes to pretend she's Mary, I'm Jack, and Zed's Mel from Jack's Big Music Show. No problem. We sing, pretend we're playing instruments, and act goofy. It's fun.But Zoey also likes to pretend to be her friends.
Constantly, she'll pretend to be one of her female friends from preschool while I'm supposed to act like one of her boy friends (note: two separate words!). Should I be concerned about this? Is she obsessed? Or is this something all kids do?
I just don't want to deal with a Single White Female incident on down the road.
Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins: Rise Up With Fists*
I've had a lot of new people stroll through the front doors of my website lately. And a lot of nasty emails as well.If you're a new reader to this site, welcome. Take a look around. Notice the title? Cynical Dad. Notice what it says under Background Info? This site is supposed to be a humorous and cynical look at parenting and children. Keyword: humorous.
Look. I don't pepper my entries with emoticons. I like to think my new readers, like my regular readers, are intelligent enough to know when I'm kidding. Like the whole year of threats article. Just a joke, folks. Mostly.
You can call me an awful writer. I'll agree.
You can say I'm not funny. Once again, I'll agree.
But when you start questioning my parenting skills and whether or not I love my children?
Step. The. Fuck. Back.
Enjoy the site!
*By the way, if you haven't heard this song, go to Jenny's MySpace page and check it out (Christ, I feel like such a thirteen-year-old for linking to a MySpace page (Sorry, BIYF)). I never cared much for Rilo Kiley, but I love this song. Jenny is my new indie girlfriend.
GHS: 2 (for the Single White Female thing)
