This landed in my inbox today. Thought I'd post it here and see what you guys think.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Montgomery, AL -- January 30, 2006 -- Are you in the market for a MILF? Are you a single dad looking for a single mom, hoping to start your own Brady Bunch? Nose Candy Industries has come to your rescue.
"Attraction basically boils down to three principles: physical attraction, personality, and scent. This explains why cologne and perfume sales bring in over four billion dollars a year," said Nose Candy Industries spokesperson Arthur Carter. "Manufacturers have mass-produced scents for years, ignoring niche markets. Different personalities are attracted to different scents. That's where we come in."
Set to debut in the Atlanta, Chicago, and Houston markets this spring, Momvelous aims to be the first scent on the market to attract single mothers. Dubbed "Spanish Fly for Soccer Moms" by industry insiders, Momvelous lists antibacterial soap, baby poop, baby shampoo, baby vomit, chocolate, Desitin, formula, glue sticks, Gummy Bears, jelly, lilac, peanut butter, rose petals, strained peas, and sweat among its many active ingredients.
Nose Candy Industries hopes to have a nationwide rollout by early fall. If this initial scent proves successful, future plans include scents to attract teachers, high-ranking business professionals, and gay cowboys.
"We have had a ninety-five percent success rate with Momvelous in preliminary laboratory tests," Carter added. "All a guy has to do is spray a little Momvelous on his person, head down to the local playground, and the soccer moms will swarm to him."
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And so will the flies.
Spanish Fly For Soccer Moms
