That's me! Only instead of battling two clumsy burglars, I get to match wits with two clumsy kids.
That's right, folks. Ella has left the building. She left this morning for NYC and will be there until Sunday afternoon.
And. I'm. Freaking. Out.
This isn't the first trip she's been on. She goes on four to six "inspirational" trips a year where her company pays for her to shop the entire time (she's a designer). In the past few years, she's been to Los Angeles (several times), San Francisco, NYC (twice a year), Atlanta, Austin, Paris, and London. To shop! She's also going to Brussels this fall.
She's a rock star. Me? You know my story.
When she first told me about the trip, she said, "I'll be gone for our anniversary (our five-year wedding anniversary is the third). Is that okay?" I responded, "Sure. We can just celebrate it some other night." And then a few hours later, I started thinking, "Wait! She'll be gone during the Super Bowl!" You see where my priorities are. I'm a jerk. But luckily, she'll be back three hours before kickoff.
Anyway, this is the first extended trip she's taken since we've had two kids and the first trip since both children have become mobile. I have been stressing out for the past six days. See, in a lot of ways, I'm like a child. I like routine. Every night, I feed Zed and rock him to sleep while Ella gives Zoey a bath and puts her to bed (Zed also wakes up at 11:00 PM and sometime during the middle of the night for additional feedings. Yeah, we suck as parents. You don't have to remind us.). I have no idea how I'm going to swing this without disrupting both children's schedules.
And then there's the middle-of-the-night feeding. I'm an extremely sound sleeper. So either I can lie awake all night, afraid to fall asleep and miss his call in the middle of the night (Can I go four days without sleep? I've done three before, but I was m-u-c-h younger) or I can sleep on the floor next to his crib. Either way, the next day will be pretty much shot for me.
So don't be too surprised if you don't hear anything from me for the next few days. I'll be pretty busy. And pretty tired. Of course, I might just decide to lock them both in a closet and post something every hour. Who knows?
Wish me luck. And if anyone would like to come over and watch the kids for a little bit, drop me a line. You don't have to stay long. Just long enough for me to go out to the curb and drink a few beers.
And sob.
You Know That Macaulay Culkin Movie? The One Where He's Left Home Alone?
