I have recently stumbled onto something that will change the face of human development. I have created a comprehensive guide to parenting that will be used for generations to come. This information could very well be worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at the very least, a lucrative book deal.
Anyway.
In order to be a perfect parent, one must give 110%*. Here's the breakdown:
- 45% Love
- 14% Compassion
- 12% Instruction (Teaching/Learning/Nurturing)
- 9% Security
- 8% Television
- 6% Discipline
- 5% Fun (Play time, etc.)
- 3% Threats
- 2% Naps/Quiet Time
- 2% Chocolate
- 1% Bribes
- 1% Play Dates
- 1% Alcohol
- 1% Band-Aids
*My inner mathematician fought with all the voices in my head over this joke. "One cannot give more than 100%," he argued. Needless to say, he lost. The last we heard from him, he was on his way to Vegas to try out his Blackjack Theory. We wish him the best of luck and a speedy return. The checkbook needs to be balanced.
