THE FLOWERS OF ROMANCE
I actually sent Ella flowers for Valentine's Day. This is actually a big deal as we've been married for five years and have been an item for eleven and a half years and I've given her flowers three times. That includes yesterday.She's a lucky gal, no?
I've never given her flowers for her birthday or our anniversary. Hell, I've never even given her an IScrewedUp Bouquet (but there have been plenty of times when I should have). I had flowers sent to her after the birth of Zoey and for her first Mother's Day. That's been it.
Would you like to know why I'm anti-flowers? (I'll assume you said yes.)
A) I'm cheap.
Flowers are expensive. When I went to the florist on Monday, I told the florist, "I'm looking for some flowers for my wife for Valentine's Day. And I don't want to break the bank." Her reply? "Your best bet would be three roses in this lovely M&M's Commemorative Vase (the hell?). It's only $35. $43 if you want it delivered."
I replied, "
Now why didn't she tell me this in the beginning?
So I started filling out the card. All I wanted to write was Happy Valentine's Day!. We Love You! – Chag, Zoey, & Zed. I successfully filled out the card when I noticed I had picked a card that read With Deepest Sympathy. I'm a moron. Or was this foreshadowing?
So I filled out another card. Only this time I signed it – Chag, Ella, Zoey, & Zed. Once again, I'm an idiot.
I turned around and saw Zoey with a long stemmed rose in each hand, twirling them like they were sparklers. I screamed, "Zoey! Put those down!
I finally got the card right on the third try. The florist then asked, "Would you like the flowers delivered?" Now, I could have easily taken the flowers home with me and given them to Ella when she got home that evening, but I know that half (or all) the fun in receiving flowers is showing them to other women in your office who didn't receive any flowers.
Unfortunately her work address was in the car. I probably could've let Zoey remain in the store for the seventy-four seconds I was gone, but I'm a) neurotic and b) didn't want to let the bull loose in the flower shop. So I gathered up the kids, went to the car, got the address, and went back inside the store and completed the transaction.
B) Flowers are perishable.
I do not like to give one-and-done gifts, be it food, restaurant gift cards, flowers, wine, etc. I like to give gifts that people can hang onto. I'd rather give someone a Virginia Is For Lovers coffee mug than a meal at a fancy restaurant.
And why would anyone give another a rose as a symbol of love? It's got thorns! And if you think a rose symbolizes your love for another, does that mean your love starts out beautiful and sweet, only to slowly wither and die?
I love you too!
I'm done ranting. And by the way, she loved the carnations.
MY FUNNY VALENTINE
When Zoey awoke yesterday morning, she received her Valentine's Day gift from Ella and I. Three books: a Dora the Explorer book, a Care Bears book, and a My Little Pony book. She looked at them, smiled, and then looked at us and said, "Is this all?"Nice.
Later that day. I was reading the Care Bears book to her. It finished with the words, "and love is all around us."
Zoey added, "And so is God."
At least she's learning something in preschool! She's not getting that information from us. I haven't been to church, other than for weddings and funerals, in about, oh, twenty years or so.
But then Zoey quickly added, "And so is Cupid!"
See, folks? Those threats really do work!
SPREADING THE LOVE
I've added a few new sites to my Narcikidstic Sites list on the right. You should probably stop reading my garbage and check these sites out right now (if you're not already familiar with them):- Motherhood Uncensored is sarcastic, cynical, and funny. Kind of like my site, only Motherhood Uncensored is sarcastic, cynical, and funny.
- Suburban Turmoil was the winner of this year's BOB for Best Mommy Blog. The design rocks (love the "Save me from the plastic people!" tagline) and so does the writing.
- The Blogfathers is an all-star site that debuted on Valentine's Day, featuring the guys behind AdventureDad, The Bean's Dad, Because I'm Your Father, Child's Play x2, Dad Gone Mad, Genuine, Laid-Off Dad, More Diapers, Mr. Nice Guy, Not-For-Profit Dad, Sweet Juniper!, Woodge, and The Zero Boss. With this lineup, this site should be h-u-g-e.
