I know a lot of stay-at-home dads have trouble fitting in with the moms in their children's playgroups or blending in on the playground. But as much as I may gripe about double standards, I really do have the best of both worlds.
In my neighborhood, I spend more time with the wives than I do with the husbands. We'll chat while the kids play. Then the guys come home from work and I put on my Guy Hat and we start talking about sports. My Mondays this fall were spent having coffee in the morning with the moms from Zoey's preschool class followed by Monday Night Football in the evening with the neighborhood guys.
I'm lucky. While I'm one of the guys, it also seems I'm one of the girls. They act very comfortable around me.
Sometimes, a little too comfortable.
Last week, Zoey, Zed, and I attended a brunch with most of the kids (and their moms) in Zoey's preschool class at the home of one of the moms. There's no way I would invite fifteen kids into my home. Unless I was looking to collect insurance on it.
It was nice. She had hired two babysitters to watch the children (except Zed; there was no way I was allowing some teenager to watch my boy. I've mentioned I'm neurotic, right?) while the moms (and me) ate brunch and chatted.
So the moms and I were sitting at the table when Woman #1 began talking about her daughter co-sleeping with her and her husband. Woman #2 asked, "What does that do to your sex life?"
I looked at Woman #1, expecting to find her blushing. But no, Woman #1 answered back! In front of me! And with her answer came the great unlocking of a sexual Pandora's Box as all the women began talking about sex.
Seriously, I felt like I was sitting in the cafe in Sex And The City.
Question! Does that make me Stanford?
I'm thinking, Hello! Y-Chromosome present! But they didn't stop. As I began eyeing the table, searching frantically for a pencil or something sharp to jam into my ear canals, their conversation grew more graphic.
Look. I'm not a prude. I'm just extremely shy and uncomfortable in social situations. I'm uncomfortable enough in my own skin, let alone in a group of people, let alone in a group of women, let alone in a group of women talking about sex. I was trying to think of a way to steer the conversation over to sports (which is my modus operandi when I can't add anything to a conversation), when I realized I had the ultimate Get Out Of Jail Free card.
Zed!
I got up, excused myself, and Zed I headed to another room for a diaper change.
His, not mine.
GHS: 0 (at least none caused by my kids)
Sex And The Suburbs
