Here's a fun game to play over the weekend. All three of these phrases were heard in the Cynical Dad household in the past twenty-four hours. Your mission is to decide whether each phrase came from my three-year-old daughter or from a three-year-old porno DVD.
Phrases
- "Blow me, daddy."
- "You can tinkle on me."
- "Come on. Just suck it. We need to go to Target."
- Toddlerspeak. We went out to eat last night and Zoey blew the paper on her straw at me and hit me in the face. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world. She was letting me know I was free to retaliate.
- Toddlerspeak. Zoey doesn't flush the toilet after she tinkles (God, I hate that word). I went in there (not alone, of course!) soon after she did and she was letting me know that I was free to relieve myself on top of her waste. I did tell her the correct phrase should have been "You can tinkle on mine." But then I said, "Maybe you shouldn't say either phrase."
- Trick question. This phrase was actually uttered by me (get your minds out of the gutter!). I had just rolled up her JELL-O Pudding Stick and she was dancing around and making funny faces at me instead of eating (or sucking) the last bite.
GHS: 2 (there's just something so wrong in hearing your daughter blurt out the phrase, "Blow me, daddy.")
