Ready for the second batch of questions? I'm going to pretend you said, "Yes."
Here are Jenny's questions:
1. What do you think of Neil Young?
I've always thought he was overrated. I do like a few of his songs, but for the most part, I don't see what the fuss is all about.
2. When did you last handle a sex toy?
Last weekend, when the kids and I were shopping for the perfect Mother's Day gift for Ella.
3. Allen Ginsberg or Jack Kerouac? Why?
Kerouac. High School Chag thought On The Road was the bee's knees. High School Chag was confused about a lot of things.
4. What did you do yesterday?
Celebrated Mother's Day. Due to a major illness in our household, festivities were put on hold for a week. We also visited our mothers and celebrated with them.
5. What's your favorite b-movie?
Ok. My definition of B-movie may differ from yours. When I think B-movie, I think of Plan 9 From Outer Space. That's the standard, right? But what else falls in the B-movie category? Movies with bad acting and no budget?
If that's the case, most of my favorite movies probably fall under this category since I'm a big fan of 80s horror flicks. Stuff like Friday The 13th, April Fool's Day, Halloween, and My Bloody Valentine (just pick a date or a holiday and if there's a horror movie related to it, there's a damn good chance I'm a fan).
But I can't pick a favorite horror movie. That's like asking me to choose between my kids.
6. How would you survive in the desert?
I wouldn't. I'm a delicate little flower. I don't do well with heat. Within thirty minutes, I would probably be stripping off my clothes and begging the vultures to put me out of my misery.
7. Whom would you most like to smoke pot with?
Willie Nelson. You know he's got some good stories to tell (dude smoked a joint on the roof of the White House!). Plus you know he can get you the really good shit.
Or maybe Snoop Dogg.
***
Here are Surfer Jay's questions:
1. What do you think of breastfeeding a three year old?
I believe that as long as you're not messing up my world or harming others, you should be able to do whatever you want. That said, if I were a woman, I doubt I'd still be breastfeeding when my child is three. But that's probably because I'd be spending all my free time fondling myself.
2. When did you last lie to your son about his art work?
I have never lied to my son about his art work. He is not much for the visual arts: he does not like crayons, paints, and all that jazz. He's a musician.
But I have lied to my daughter plenty of times about her art work. When she was a toddler, I couldn't tell what the hell she was drawing half of the time. But now she's really developed into quite the little artist.
3. Whiskey or Vicodin for teething pains? Why?
We were lucky: neither of our kids experienced much discomfort when teething. Other than a few doses of Tylenol, the process was pretty painless.
4. What did you call your stepmother (under your breath) the first time you got into an argument with her?
Once again, I've been very lucky. I have never gotten into an argument with my mother-in-law (I'm assuming you meant mother-in-law and not stepmother).
5. What's your favorite blog to send messages to under another name?
Considering Chag is neither my real name or a nickname, I comment on all blogs under another name. If you're asking if I have yet another fake identity that I use for a separate set of blogs, the answer is no. I haven't become that crazy.
Yet.
6. How would you rate your parenting skills, when your wife wasn’t in the room listening?
Fair to middling, whether she was in the room or not.
Nah, I like to think I'm doing a pretty good job on most days.
7. Whom would you most like to throw a soiled diaper at?
Ann Coulter.
***
Finally, here are Sarah's questions:
1. What do you think of ________?
It was bad enough when celebrities were the only ones ________. But now it seems like everybody is ________. Hell, I've seen a few kids ________ at my daughter's elementary school. Can you believe that? Little kids ________! I'd like to find the guy who started ________ and beat him with a stick.
Sorry. This is a sore subject with me. ________ really pisses me off.
(Um, Sarah? You forgot to fill in the blank.)
2. When did you last see a live band play?
In February I saw a children's band play. Does that count? No?
Then I really can't remember the last time I saw a live band play. It's been far too long, though.
3. Red or white wine? Why?
Neither. I don't like wine.
4. What did you do for a living before kids?
Web crap. But I had a nice office and not a cubicle!
Basically, I wrote scripts to improve functionality in the company's online catalog, created search applications, administered the database, blah, blah, blah. I could go on, but I'm probably already boring you.
5. What's your favorite tv show (ever)?
NewsRadio.
Soap would be a close second.
6. How would you explain periods to a four year old?
I wouldn't. That's Mom's job.
7. Whom would you most like to fight?
It would have to be someone smaller and frailer than me because I wouldn't want to lose.
Tom Cruise?
Webster?
A three-year old?
There you go! See you next time.
Song of the day: Wait by White Lion
Chag Libs, Vol. II: Sex Toys, Breastfeeding, And Ann Coulter
