Part 5 of a 14,389,003-part series that serves as a reminder that every time one of my kids does something dumb, I've done something dumber.
I cannot be sure what you are about to read is entirely true since I was five when it happened. Since it's one of those stories my mom likes to drag out to embarrass me, it feels like I remember it.
We were in church on a snowy, pre-Christmas Sunday morning. Attendance was poor that day, but since we only lived a block away from church, we had no excuse not to be there.
At one point, the choir director stood at the pulpit and announced, "We're going to sing Joy To The World. Please turn to page 120 in your hymnals."
My mom said I jumped to my feet and started beaming. As soon as the organ started, I belted out, "JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG!!!"
Yup. I started singing Three Dog Night instead of the Christmas hymn. Does this mean I'm going to Hell eventually?
Addendum: My mother really should not have been surprised or embarrassed when this event took place. We lived in a sleepy little mill town and there wasn't much to do. So every Saturday night, they took me with them to the local VFW while they had a few beers. I passed the time by standing on the stage, singing into a rubber snake to the tunes coming out of the jukebox. Customers would regularly give me quarters and sodas (which I'm sure I thought was cool as hell). I was the VFW's house band. Kind of sad, no?
And before you pass judgment on my parents for taking me to a bar when I was a small child and allowing me to drink sodas all night, remember this: it was the 70s. People didn't know any better. It's a wonder they didn't let me smoke.
So folks, teach your children well. And don't expose them to Three Dog Night.
More Youthful Idiocy:
The Haunted Forest
Fish In A Barrel
The Fifth Grade Flea Market In A Bag
The Great Playboy Heist
Youthful Idiocy: Christian Rock (Before There Was Such A Thing)
