I've been a stay-at-home dad now for a little over four years. Along the way, I've picked up some knowledge that may be useful to others. Think of it as Parent Hacks for the neurotic and cynical. Today, I'm sharing three tips that can help provide a stress-free birthday party for your child.
A. Unless you happen to enjoy migraines, never have a birthday party for your child in a public place.
By this I mean places like Chuck E. Cheese's, McDonald's, or any of the build-a-stuffed-companion stores that do not close their doors to the general public just because you're having a birthday party (unless you've got Oprah money (of course, then you probably don't have your child's birthday party at places like Chuck E. Cheese's, McDonald's, or any of the build-a-stuffed-companion stores (and you're not reading this site, either))).Today, we went to a birthday party where children can create a stuffed animal (hint: rhymes with Killed-A-Pair). The line to create a stuffed animal spilled out into the mall. It was insane. Luckily, we had our own stuffer (not nearly as fun as it sounds) so we didn't have to wait in line with the customers. Still, the party-goers were confined in a hallway that led to the stockroom for most of the party.
They really should've provided alcohol for the adults.
B. Always make sure the place where you're having a birthday party actually has a place where you can have a birthday party.
This sounds like common knowledge, right? You'd be surprised.After the kids created their animals, it was time for cake and presents. Guess what? Despite the fact the store advertises parties, Killed-A-Pair didn't have a separate party room. So we all headed up to the mall's food court to have the birthday party. There's nothing like having your child blow out the candles in front of crabby shoppers, other people's whiny children, and wannabe-thug teenagers. Fun stuff!
C. Never have a birthday party in a mall during the holiday shopping season.
Unless you like circling the parking lot for hours looking for a spot within a mile from the mall and dealing with throngs of cranky people. Then by all means, knock yourself out!Disclaimer: The last time I wrote a parenting tip, I was reamed for single-handedly killing all the animals in the world so you should probably be advised to ignore everything I wrote in this post.
Related:
Parenting Tips For The Overly Neurotic: Balloons
