In case you missed it the first time, I'm using the following guidelines Norbizness set for himself:
- One album per artist.
- No greatest hits packages, compilations, or boxed sets.
- No artists that would make me look hip or cool.
- I must own the LP, CD, or cassette tape of every one of these entries. No mp3s.
This section of my list is heavy on the hair bands, so if that's not your scene, you might want to go somewhere else.
Here's 70-56:
70. Quiet Riot Metal Health (1983)Metal Health was the album that put hair bands on the map. Quite Riot was also the first concert I ever attended. This album is cheesy hair music at its finest and contains classics like Cum On Feel The Noize (a Slade cover), Metal Health, Slick Black Cadillac, and the power ballad, Thunderbird.
They tried to repeat their success with their follow-up album, Conditional Critical. They even went as far as to cover another Slade song, Mama Weer All Crazee Now. But Conditional Critical sucked. And my love affair with the band ended.
69. Bon Jovi Slippery When Wet (1986)You knew this one was coming, didn't you? If Metal Health was the album that put hair bands on the map, Slippery When Wet was the one that put hair bands into the tape decks of Middle America. There are so many great songs on this album: You Give Love A Bad Name, Raise Your Hands, Livin' On A Prayer, and my personal favorite, Wanted Dead Or Alive. What was the fascination with hair bands and cowboys?
The longevity of Bon Jovi simply fascinates me. Hair bands have been extinct for well over a decade, yet you can still hear new Bon Jovi songs on the radio. I think Jon must've sold his soul to the Devil or something.
Never Say Goodbye was the theme song for my prom. And people wonder why I didn't go.
68. The Pogues Hell's Ditch (1990)Have you ever seen the movie Little Voice? In that flick, LV, the character played by Jane Horrocks, can mimic the voices of many female stars of yesteryear, like Shirely Bassey and Judy Garland. In my younger days, I had the same ability. I could sound just like Dave Pirner, Gordon Gano, Axl Rose (except the really, really, really high-register stuff), and pretty much anyone else if you gave me a week or so to practice. I could've been the greatest cover band singer the world has ever known! Damn my shyness!
Why am I telling you this? Because like Shane MacGowan, my pre-marriage years of heavy drinking, smoking, and hanging out in bars has left my voice shot. But I can do a mean Shane MacGowan.
I know if I was cooler I would have picked If I Should Fall from Grace With God or Rum, Sodomy & The Lash. But I'm far from cool. Plus, The Sunnyside Of The Street is probably one my top 10 songs ever.
67. Meat Loaf Bat Out Of Hell (1977)This album sounds like a cheesy Broadway musical (which it should, since it was written by Jim Steinman, a composer and lyricist). Paradise By The Dashboard Light is one of the greatest songs about teenage sex ever written.
66. Kiss Destroyer (1976)This is the first album I ever bought. As a young lad, I was nursed on country music and AM radio. One day, I was at the local drug store and this album was calling to me from the racks. I didn't know who they were or what they sounded like. I only knew I had to have it. I begged my mother to buy it for me. She looked at the cover and was skeptical, but I was relentless so she finally caved.
I went home and put it on my record player. And my life was forever changed.
This album had Detroit Rock City (the best song they ever recorded), Shout It Out Loud, King Of The Night Time World, and Beth. Christ, Destroyer could've been the first of 14,338 greatest hits albums Kiss put out over the years.
65. Eazy-E Eazy-Duz-It (1988)This album came out at the exact same time as N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton. This album was straight-up gangsta like Compton, but it also had a great sense of humor. Favorite tracks: Nobody Move, No More ?s, Radio, and Boyz-N-The-Hood (which was bastardized in 2000 by dynamite hack (at least they got the hack part right)).
64. David Bowie The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (1972)If I allowed greatest hits discs, Bowie would be much, much higher on my chart. My favorite Bowie song is Young Americans, but Ziggy Stardust is my favorite album.
63. Coyote Shivers Coyote Shivers (1996)To the wrong set of ears, this album might sound moronic, as if a thirteen-year-old boy wrote it. But to my ears, it is thirty-five minutes of pure fun. The lyrics are very sexual (Bisexual Girl) and immature (Happiness Is A Warm Bong), but damn it rocks. This is perfect roll-down-your-windows-and-scream-your-lungs-out music, kind of like a modern-day Ramones (both lyrically and in attitude).
Sadly, he's probably best known for his appearance in Empire Records (he sings Sugarhigh in the movie).
Bonus fun fact: The entire CD appears again as a hidden track a few seconds after the final track.
62. Everclear Sparkle And Fade (1995)This album kicks major ass. There are so many great songs: Heroin Girl, Santa Monica, You Make Me Feel Like A Whore, Summerland, Heartspark Dollarsign, and My Sexual Life.
Unfortunately, Art Alexakis lost sight of his Heartspark and concentrated solely on the Dollarsign as he rerecorded the same damn song forty-seven times. Seriously, has there ever been another band where so many of their songs can be easily confused for one another?
61. L.A. Guns Cocked & Loaded (1989)L.A. Guns never got the attention I feel they deserved. The Ballad of Jayne got a decent amount of play (as it should have; it is one of the best power ballads ever!), but that's about it. But there is no reason why I Wanna Be Your Man and Never Enough shouldn't have been hits as well.
When I first read The Vampire Lestat, I pictured Phil Lewis as the title character. Just thought I'd share that.
60. Motley Crue Dr. Feelgood (1989)Go ahead and laugh, but pound for pound, I feel Dr. Feelgood was Motley Crue's finest achievement. While most of the album was nowhere near as heavy as their earlier stuff, it still rocked. Standout tracks include Dr. Feelgood, Kickstart My Heart, She Goes Down (because who doesn't love songs about fellatio?), and Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) (my personal favorite).
59. Social Distortion Social Distortion (1990)Mike Ness has one of rock 'n' roll's coolest voices. This is the album that contains Story Of My Life, Let It Be Me, and Ball And Chain (one of the greatest country songs ever written (and why has no country artist covered this song?))..
It takes major balls to cover Johnny Cash, but not only did Social D cover Ring Of Fire, they did it better.
58. The Clash London Calling (1979)What can I say that every rock critic before me hasn't already said about London Calling? Nothing. It's one of punk's finest accomplishments.
But you already own it. You know how awesome it is.
57. Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin IV (1971)When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I played piano in several weddings. I played my first wedding when I was seventeen. I was paid with a fifth of Jack Daniels, which, to an underage slacker, was the equivalent of a hundred dollar bill.
One wedding took place in the bride and groom's trailer. They requested I play Van Halen's I'll Wait and Led Zeppelin's All My Love while the ushers were seating the guests (yes, they had ushers in the trailer (and believe it or not, this isn't even my strangest wedding story)). Although I thought these were two odd choices, I performed both songs. Give the people what they want, you know?
What does this have to do with anything? Nothing. But I figured you already knew all about Led Zeppelin IV, so I'd tell you a Zeppelin-related story.
56. Jellyfish Bellybutton (1990)This is irresistibly catchy pop music, music that gets your toes tapping and makes you feel good about everything around you. When I think of what passes for "pop music" on the radio while stuff like this is largely ignored, it makes me wonder if radio station programmers are deaf, hate good music, are on the take, or a mixture of all three.
Favorite track: The King Is Half-Undressed.
Previously:
85-71
100-86
