First, the rules. I'm using the guidelines Norbizness set for himself:
- One album per artist.
- No greatest hits packages, compilations, or boxed sets. There are many bands that have two or three really cool songs per album amidst a lot of dreck (I'm looking at you, Sting, Andy, and Stewart). If you want on my list, make a good CD!
- No artists that would make me look hip or cool (and I think I shattered any chance to be viewed as hip or cool right off the bat with #100).
- I must own the LP, CD, or cassette tape of every one of these entries. No mp3s.
So without further ado, here are 100-86:
100. Warrant Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich (1988)I can admit it. I like Warrant. I even saw them perform live.
Twice. In one night (at an arena opening for Crue and later at an after party (where I started dating my first (and sadly, only) stripper). So I figured any band worth seeing twice in one night is definitely worth a spot on this list.
Plus, they had the balls to include not one, but two power ballads on their debut disc. Heaven was the song that made them famous, but Sometimes She Cries will always be my favorite.
99. Blondie Parallel Lines (1978)No one could bend, blend, and upend genres like Deborah Harry and Blondie. They were just as comfortable producing disco classics as they were hard-rocking numbers and songs that made you think of the great girl groups of the 60s. If Heart of Glass doesn't get you moving, nothing will. But I die a little each time I see that Swiffer commercial that uses One Way Or Another.
98. 3rd Bass The Cactus Album (1989)Most people's knowledge of 3rd Bass begins and ends with The Gas Face (or, if you watched a lot of MTV, you might also be familiar with Pop Goes The Weasel, their attack against Vanilla Ice). This rest of the album is far from Gas Face filler: cool beats, cooler rhymes, and lots of samples (something sorely lacking in today's music).
97. The Jim Carroll Band Catholic Boy (1980)Want to know how big of a nerd I am? You know when you get done listening to a CD, sometimes there will be a bunch of tracks that are nothing but two seconds of dead air, eventually followed by an actual song that was not listed in the liner notes? Well, I have a tendency to put hidden tracks like this on my mix CDs.
When Ella and I got married, I made CDs of our wedding music (first dance, father-daughter dance, mother-son dance, cake-cutting song, all that crap) for all the members of our wedding party. Since we only had thirty minutes of music, I was able to put ten more songs on the disc as hidden tracks. Jim Carroll's People Who Died was one of those hidden tracks.
I know what you're thinking: "What kind of jerk puts a song about people dying on his wedding CD?" The same kind of jerk who also puts The Circle Jerks' Golden Shower Of Hits (Jerks On 45) on the disc as well. And that song talks about divorce.
It's a wonder I'm still married.
96. Suicidal Tendencies Suicidal Tendencies (1983)My friends and I were skate rats when we were 13-15 years old. And this album was our soundtrack.
I still remember the first time I saw the video for Institutionalized. Mike Muir was dressed in flannel and a bandana, singing/screaming about not wanting to be institutionalized. I was instantly hooked. My favorite song on the disc is I Saw Your Mommy (And Your Mommy's Dead).
95. The Doors The Doors (1967)Everyone is so quick to anoint Jim Morrison a God, they forget about Ray Manzarek. On this album and future releases, he laid down some incredibly mind-blowing keyboard tracks.
Just look at these songs: Break On Through (To The Other Side), The Crystal Ship, Light My Fire, and The End. And this was from a debut album, people. Damn.
94. Sonic Youth Dirty (1992)I played the hell out of Creme Brulee when I was a college dj. So much that the station manager hid the album from me.
Easily their most accessible album (which isn't saying much because to me, nails on a chalkboard were more accessible than most of Sonic Youth's offerings), Dirty produced such great songs as 100% (their one and only MTV hit) and Chapel Hill (because any song that name-drops the Cat's Cradle is instantly cool in my book).
93. Bicycle Face Trust And Obey (1992)I'm sure most of you have not heard of this band but if you have the means, you should definitely check out this CD. It's raunchy and immature and therefore, quite funny and brilliant. My favorite song is Political Song, which is actually an anti-political-song song. Sample lyric: "'Cause we're gonna save the world / And we're gonna sell some t-shirts."
When I was researching this CD, I learned that one of Bicycle Face's members, Brian Huskey, is now one of the talking heads on VH1's Best Week Ever. So that just proves this CD is funny.
92. Rage Against The Machine Rage Against The Machine (1992)This is one heavy album. While Zack de la Rocha's political raps were incredible, Tony Morello's guitar work was the real star of this band. Standout tracks include: Killing In The Name, Bullet In The Head, Bombtrack, and Know Your Enemy.
This is so much better than the rap/metal hybrid crap that's being produced today. And what teenager today wouldn't fall in love with the lyric "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me?"
91. The Flaming Lips The Soft Bulletin (1999)My introduction to The Flaming Lips came from In A Priest-Driven Ambulance. I had this friend who, in a desperate attempt to seem cool, bought CDs by bands with weird names without knowing anything about their music. This is how we got into bands like The Flaming Lips and The Butthole Surfers (actually, maybe my friend only bought albums by bands with body parts in their names). We listened to Five Stop Mother Superior Rain nonstop that summer.
The Flaming Lips have put out a lot of great albums over the years, but The Soft Bulletin is the best.
90. Warren Zevon Sentimental Hygiene (1987)There are so many killer cuts on this CD (Boom Boom Mancini, Reconsider Me, Detox Mansion, and Bad Karma), I probably should have ranked it much higher. Oh well. Maybe next time.
89. Red Hot Chili Peppers Mother's Milk (1989)I never really cared for the Peppers before this album. But this one rocked! With originals like Nobody Weird Like Me, Knock Me Down (my personal fave), and Johnny, Kick A Hole In The Sky, mixed with two incredible covers (Jimi Hendrix's Fire and Stevie Wonder's Higher Ground), the Red Hot Chili Peppers achieved a level of greatness they haven't come close to attaining since.
88. Cinderella Long Cold Winter (1988)Everyone likes to say that Kurt Cobain and grunge killed off the hair bands. But I have another theory: Hair bands committed career suicide.
Hair bands earned their fame and fortune singing about fast cars, women, partying, women, and drinking. And women. Critics hated these songs, but fans lapped them up. Seemingly all at once, the hair bands made a conscious effort to appeal to critics.
They started tackling weightier issues in their songs. Songs about child abuse, drug abuse, prison, evangelists, politicians, Vietnam Vets, and the homeless started creeping into their material. Witness Poison's Something To Believe In, Cinderella's Shelter Me (which is from Heartbreak Station, the album after Long Cold Winter), and Faster Pussycat's House Of Pain.
While fans still bought the albums containing the new serious fare, these songs all appeared on each band's last decent-selling offering. It was if the fans collectively stated, "Dude! I came her to PARTY! If I want to hear preaching, I'll listen to Bono." And the fans turned their backs on the hair bands. And not only the offending bands, but the entire genre.
Except for Bon Jovi. Nothing can kill Bon Jovi.
When we finally destroy the planet, Jon Bon Jovi will still be around to take care of all the cockroaches.
87. De La Soul 3 Feet High And Rising (1989)While their counterparts were dissin' each other and rapping about guns, De La Soul came along with something new and different, a peaceful and funny alternative. Spliced between a fictional game show, this album was so much more than simply Me, Myself, And I. If you haven't listened to this in a while, or if you've never listened to it, I urge you to give it a spin. I did over the weekend and I've been smiling ever since.
86. Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation 1814 (1989)Since she released twenty-seven singles from this album that all went to #1, there's nothing I can say about it that you don't already know. But I will tell you that I saw her twice on the Rhythm Nation Tour, including once when she was still allowed to bring the black panther onstage before those pesky PETA people got their panties in a wad.
