I love my television. In fact, my TV was the best man at our wedding (ok, that's an exaggeration, but our TiVo was the flower girl). We are a television household. I know some of you do not allow your children to watch television. That's cool. I believe you have to do what's right for your family and to hell with everyone else. It just so happens that television is right for our family.
Or at least it used to be. I am beginning to see why some parents do not expose their children to television.
Ella leaves town for business once or twice a month. And since I have yet to figure out how to clone myself, it is impossible to put both kids to bed at the same time. So I park Zoey in front of the television, put Zed to bed, and then read Zoey a few books and put her to bed.
The other week I bought Zoey the Disney Princess Sing Along Songs: Perfectly Princess Volume Three DVD for such occasions. It's nothing but songs from Disney classics such as Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs and direct-to-video fare like The Little Mermaid II: Return To The Sea. Pretty harmless, right?
Wrong.
On the DVD, there's a song, Lesson Number One, from Mulan II. During the singing and merry-making, Mulan teaches a group of little girls how to fight. How to kick. How to karate chop. How to say "hi-yah!"
Three guesses who else has suddenly learned to fight, kick, karate chop, and say "hi-yah!" Bingo!
Whenever she gets pissed at me (which, truthfully, seems to be quite often lately; she's exploring her limits), she scrunches up her nose and karate chops the air a few times, yelling "HI-YAH!" Now I know this is toddlerspeak for "Bite me, asshole." But as long as she's not actually making contact with anyone, it's ok (actually, I can't help but laugh every time she does it. I suck.). No harm, no foul, you know?
But I also realize that it's just a matter of time before she does make contact, be it a chop to my stomach or a testicle-shattering kick worthy of America's Funniest Home Videos. So what do I do?
Do I put an end to it N-O-W? Tell her it's not ok to even pretend to hit someone? That sounds kind of stupid. Plus, I'm not one to stifle creativity.
Or do I let her train for a month and schedule a Toddler Cage Match with The Voice and all other takers?
I need answers, people. While I still have my testicles.
GHS: 7
Related:
Fight Club Junior
Ultimate Toddler Fighting Championship
