Dear Zoey--
First of all, we're both really impressed that you've recently started reading nonfiction books. While we love hearing of the trials and tribulations of Katie Kazoo, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, Stink, and that wimpy little bastard, it's nice to hear you spouting off facts for a change. And no, we didn't know there are over 5,000 species of jumping spiders. Wow!
However, your recent love of insects has become somewhat problematic. Prior to this recent journey to the Land Of Nonfiction, if you saw a bug, your immediate reaction was, "KILL IT!" Now, you talk to the bug instead. And while it's cute seeing you on your hands and knees talking to your two-, six-, and eight-legged friends, your mother and I still operate under the premise that bugs are not friends.
While I did scoop a spider off the floor and set it down outside unharmed for you the other day, don't expect that to be a recurring event. If you have any doubts on our stance on bugs, please commit to memory the following refrain:
An outside insect can be my best friend.
An inside insect's life will come to an end.
Hugs & Kisses,
Mommy & Daddy
Management
An Open Letter To My Daughter
