Most of the time, I call my wife around the same time every day, usually after I pick up the kids from school. Every once in awhile, I call her when there's an emergency:
Ella: Hello?
Me: They found a Chupacabra!
Ella: What?
Me: They found a Chupacabra!
Ella: I'm working. You called me to talk about monsters?
Me: …
Ella: Where did you hear this?
Me: CNN!
Ella: Didn't they also report about that fake Bigfoot you were babbling about last year?
Me: Um, yeah.
Ella: Fool me once…
Me: Goodbye.
Ok. In case you've been living in a cave (or foolishly ignore such things), video of a frozen Chupacabra was released yesterday. It certainly looks real to me. But it doesn't matter if it's real or not because I already know how this story will play out: samples of the Chupacabra's blood were sent to Texas A&M University. Texas A&M is a public university and is partially funded by the government. And since the government funds the university and the government doesn't want us to think that stuff like aliens, Chupacabras, the Loch Ness Monster, and Bigfoot exist, they will announce that it was just a coyote. Lying bastards.
The Man: 1
The Public: 0
P.S. And if you're like my wife and totally hung up on the frozen part (seriously, there's visual evidence of a freaking Chupacabra and all she wants to know is why they kept it in a freezer for three months), I have one question for you: what would you do if you found a Chupacabra? Would you call the police or the government? No. That's how people go missing. You'd hide it until you were able to contact the "right" people. And since that might take some time and you don't want the specimen to deteriorate, you'd put it in the freezer. Makes perfect sense.
Just Because You're The Only One That Believes Something Is True Doesn't Mean You're Crazy. It Means You're The Only Sane One.
