Cynical Dad NFL Power Index
Here are my top six teams in the NFL:- Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0)
I've got a rule: if you're the defending Super Bowl champion, you're #1 the next season until you lose. Plus, Pittsburgh defeated a really good Tennessee team last week. - Baltimore Ravens (1-0)
Yeah, it was against the Chiefs, but they had over 300 passing and almost 200 yards rushing last weekend. - Minnesota Vikings (1-0)
Hell, any QB would come out of retirement if all he had to was hand it off to Adrian Peterson all day long. - Philadelphia Eagles (1-0)
They won't be on this list next week after they lose to the Saints. - New Orleans Saints (1-0)
I wish I had Brees on my fantasy team. - New England Patriots (1-0)
They didn't look too hot during the first half of Monday night's game, but they'll trounce the Jets this weekend.
Cynical Dad Cellar Dwellers
Here are the six worst teams in the NFL:- Carolina Panthers (0-1)
Good Lord, they sucked last weekend. - Carolina Panthers (0-1)
Did I mention they were awful last weekend? - Carolina Panthers (0-1)
Like not just awful, but really, really, REALLY awful? - Carolina Panthers (0-1)
If the Panthers were a scent, it would be a mixture of decaying flesh, a barnyard, gasoline, and ketchup. I hate the smell of ketchup. - Carolina Panthers (0-1)
God, I hope they do better this week. - Jake Delhomme (0-1)
Yes, I'm bitter. Why do you ask?
Texans (+6.5) over TITANS
Matt Schaub has to bounce back this weekend. Right? Right?
Vikings (-9.5) over LIONS
150? 200? 250? The sky's the limit for Peterson in this game, but I think he finishes with 192 yards and 3 TDs.
Raiders (+3) over CHIEFS
If the Raiders had a halfway decent QB, they would be a playoff team this year.
Panthers (+6) over Falcons
My heart says they'll bounce back this weekend. My head thinks differently.
Saints (PK) over EAGLES
There's no way in hell Philadelphia's offense matches Brees & Co.
PACKERS (-9) over Bengals
This game won't be close at all.
REDSKINS (-10) over Rams
I can't believe I'm taking Washington and giving 10 points this weekend. But the Rams were so unbelievably horrible last weekend, I have to do it.
Patriots (-4) over JETS
All that trash-talking the Jets have been doing this week? Gonna bite 'em in the ass on Sunday.
BILLS (-5) over Bucs
Something tells me Leodis McKelvin will be taking a knee on every return this weekend.
JAGS (-3.5) over Cardinals
Hightower had 4 more receptions than Fitzgerald and Boldin combined.
Seahawks (+1.5) over NINERS
Even though he scored 2 TDs last weekend, Frank Gore's 22 carries for 30 yards is cause for concern.
Steelers (-3) over BEARS
Something tells me Chicago fans miss Orton.
Ravens (+3.5) over CHARGERS
Like I said above, Baltimore looked really good last weekend.
BRONCOS (-3.5) over Browns
They won't need a last-minute miracle to win this one.
Giants (+3) over COWBOYS
Unless that gigantic scoreboard can shoot laser beams at opposing players, I can't see the Cowboys winning this one.
Colts (-3) over DOLPHINS
Indy by at least a TD.
Last Week
Me: 10-6Simmons: 11-5
Season
Me: 10-6Simmons: 11-5
DISCLAIMER: This is provided for entertainment purposes only. If you follow my advice, you are a fool.
Seriously, if you ever spend money based on something I say, have your head examined.
