It's been quite some time since I did one of these search engine posts, which is a shame because I really enjoy them. I need some sort of service that reminds me every two months or so, "Dude! It's time to do one of those Google posts!"
As always, the following are some interesting/amusing/demented search phrases people have used to get to my site:
heimlich maneuver blowjob
Isn't it enough that she thanked you for saving her life, dude?
beagle pees 14 times a day sometimes in house
Time to get a fish.
a picture of a dad and mom polar bear having sex
Sorry. I'm only involved in the lesbian polar bear porn trade.
are all people who wear argyle socks cool
Not a one.
did japanese invent masturbation
Yes. I believe Sony invented it 3,000 years ago. It was originally called the Jerkman.
bill murray glue that holds us together
Nope. Chris Elliot is the glue that holds us all together.
wife's pregnant and im impotent
Coming up on the next Jerry Springer…
bridal shower she threw up
Worst case of pre-wedding jitters ever.
chuck e cheese do you have to eat to play
Hell no! You don't even have to pay to play.
first thing to teach kids about music
That the Grateful Dead sucks.
how do demons use pornography
I have no idea, but I think I've finally found a name for my Twitter radio show.
is def leppard's song "love bites" anti jesus?
No. It's anti-melodious, but not anti-Jesus.
sickness from fellatio
We don't buy that excuse, ladies.
is it bad to go out drinking n leave your baby at home
Probably.
jeremiah was a bullfrog baby bedding
I believe I saw some at JC Penny next to the Sweet Home Alabama tablecloths.
should i let my child play spin the bottle
Sure! Give him/her alcohol, cigarettes, your porno collection, and some paint thinner while you're at it!
john cusack holding up a jukebox
I don't think that would've made that scene in Say Anything as poignant. Plus, the jukebox probably would have crushed him.
meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow (the government!)
Next!
what does it mean when in the mens public restroom he puts a 20 bill on the floor
It means you're getting lucky tonight! And twenty bucks richer!
if you are at school liking you must puke in the trash can and call home and w ach a movie by cookie monster hard and play so hard
I'm having such a difficult time trying to figure out what you're talking about that I can't even attempt to write a joke.
what does the yo gabba gabba cast look like without costumes
I don't know about the other cast members, but I do know the guy that plays the red one-eyed penis actually looks like that in real life. That's not a costume.
what comes out of a girls vagina
Butterflies, roses, and the Muzak version of Christopher Cross's Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do).
Song of the day: Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross
Urinating Beagles, Yo Gabba Gabba, Polar Bear Sex, And John Cusack's Jukebox
