Autopilot. Here are some recent interesting/amusing/demented search phrases people have used to get to my site:
2 year old daughter defecating on toys after being potty trained
Um… I hate to burst your bubble, but if she's defecating on toys, she's not really potty trained. Unless you keep her toys in the toilet.
arthur dw sex story lemon
I get a fair amount of traffic from pornographic searches involving children's television and literary characters. But this is my first incestuous one. And the first that involves a lemon.
berenstain bears mama moan
See!
candy land cynical version
It would probably be nothing but Lose A Turn spaces.
4 and 4 and 4 and 4 minus one
15.
4 and 4 and 4 minus 1
11. C'mon, I can do this all day. I'm like Rain Man, people.
creative ways to cure cynical people
Fellatio.
Hey, it was worth a shot.
what is it when one of your testicles disappears
A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
strip club "magic words" extras
Try "I'm with Pacman Jones."
pornographic napkin decorations
Looks like someone's trying to spice up Thanksgiving dinner this year!
can you have children with crabs?
No. I think it's impossible for a human to get a crab pregnant.
What? That's not what you meant?
kid picked ncaa bracket
He probably did better than I did.
days of the week underpants god
There's a God for underpants? I'm building an altar now. I was beginning to think I'd never get my son potty trained.
punk rock prom dress zombie teeth leopard print
You really, really, really hate your parents, don't you?
people are people wherever you go dr seuss
I think that's Depeche Mode, not Dr. Seuss.
my child eats candles
Time to cut back on the séances, dude.
testicles in beach chair
This is why I always put a towel down before sitting on a beach chair. And that's only after I've covered the chair with Saran Wrap.
amount of foe per diaper
Every diaper is my enemy.
how many drugs did dr seuss do
I often find myself asking the same question.
ryan seacrest naked
My eyes! My eyes!
am i a girl trapped in a boy's body
No. You are actually a girl trapped in a platypus trapped in a boy's body. Have fun in therapy!
what did dr. seuss's mom read to make him go to sleep
Notes From Underground.
humorous bikini wax story got children down for nap
Now there's a children's book I'd like to read!
bear sounds go grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Very good! Next week, we'll work on pig sounds.
how to cast out witchcraft demons from legs
Witchcraft demons? Is this the excuse your girlfriend's using to avoid having sex with you?
tips on swinging microphone
Google can't teach you how to be a rock star.
chicken toilet
Worst garage band name ever.
got milk slogans for def leppard
Must resist urge to make a joke about the drummer's missing appendage.
killers ring doorbells in south carolina and kill whoever answers
This should all but destroy the Jehovah's Witnesses' SC campaign.
i can see debris in the urine of my 3 year old daughter
Really? I see the Virgin Mary!
nail polish testicles
Even Johnny Knoxville's crew wouldn't try this one.
case studies of women with oral fixation and sperm
Porn for academics!
Song of the day: Firestarter by The Prodigy
Witchcraft Demons, Pornographic Napkins, The Underpants God, And Dr. Seuss
