I'm sure by now everyone has seen The Torture Playlist over at Mother Jones, a list of songs used by the American military to "to induce sleep deprivation, prolong capture shock," and "disorient detainees during interrogations." While some of the tracks were pure genius (the theme song from Barney and the "meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow" from the Meow Mix commercial (seriously, who wouldn't go insane after listening to an hour-long loop of that?)), most of the selections are actually pretty good songs. With tracks from Prince, AC/DC, Rage Against The Machine, and Neil Diamond, I don't think their Merciless Mix wouldn't do much damage.
Torturer: So are you ready to tell us about your secret plans to overthrow the government?
Me: Bite me.
Torturer: We have ways of making you talk.
Me: Bite me.
Torturer pushes Play on the CD player and leaves the room. An hour later, he reenters.
Torturer: Are you ready to talk yet?
Me: Shh! I'm grooving to Raspberry Beret. You wouldn't happen to have the Purple Rain soundtrack lying around?
See? It would never work. If you want to torture me, here's the playlist you should use:
- Coldplay
- Grateful Dead
- Jimi Hendrix
- Phish
- Spin Doctors
- The Bee Gees
- Hell, most disco
- Jimmy Buffet
- Fergie
- James Taylor
- Celine Dion
- Huey Lewis
- Kid Rock
- Spin Doctors
- Limp Bizkit
- Creed
- Rush
- Michael Bolton
- Pretty much any easy listening crap
- Anything from the boy bands of the late 90s (Backstreets Boys, 98 Degrees, etc.)
- Did I mention the Spin Doctors?
So what songs or musicians could be used to torture you?
Song of the day: What's Up by 4 Non Blondes
