Yo, RockStar Mommy! I see your slack and raise you:
Number of Christmas trees erected in our house: 0
Number of times I giggled after typing erected: 3
Number of cookies baked for the neighbors: 0
Number of cookies baked for ourselves last night: 12
Number of cookies I ate before going to bed: 3.5
Percentage of presents bought for our children's teachers: 60
Percentage of presents that would have been bought for our children's
teachers had "The Class Mom" of Zed's preschool class not decided
to ask for monetary donations for gift certificates: 0
Number of Christmas cards mailed out: 0
Number of Christmas photos taken of the kids for this year's Christmas card: 0
Chance that we will be using this year's Halloween picture on our Christmas card: 7 in 8
Number of hours spent this weekend looking for Christmas gifts for the kids: 4.75
Number of Christmas gifts bought this past weekend for the kids: 0
Number of Wal-Marts visited this past weekend looking for gifts for the kids: 1
Number of pawn shops visited this past weekend looking for a gift for Zed: 2
Percentage of Cynical Dad readers that now think I'm totally white trash: 92
Number of Christmas decorations, including lights, displayed outside our home: 0
Number of Christmas decorations, including lights, displayed outside our neighbor's home: 14,816
Number of times Zoey says "I wish our house looked like their house" each day: 17
Average amount of minutes Zed spends daily staring out the window at the neighbor's Christmas decorations: 47
Chance that we'll have a merry Christmas despite all this: 1 in 1
Song of the day: Bizarre Christmas Incident by Ben Folds
