Nepotism, Plastic Ducks, And How My Son Molested The Chick-Fil-A Cow

On Saturday, I worked at Zoey's school's fall festival. While it didn't offer free hummers, we all had a great time.

I was assigned to work the Bingo room. When I told Zoey about this, she asked me, "Will you call out all my numbers so I can win?" I don't know why she thinks that if I'm working at her school, she should win at Bingo or get free books, but I need to reverse this logic. Stat.

When I arrived at the school, I found out that I was no longer working the Bingo room. I guess keeping track of all those numbers was much too difficult a task for a stupid man. So they put me in the Duck Pond room instead.

For the Duck Pond game, kids just had to pick a plastic duck from a wading pool. There was a number written on the bottom of each duck. The numbers on the ducks corresponded to what prizes they won. It was a popular attraction as we were giving away High School Musical junk, Hannah Montana crap, and a few Webkinz. We were also giving away cheap plastic trinkets made in China and probably chockfull of yummy, yummy lead paint.

The game was easy. I just had to make sure I gave out the right prize, the kids didn't put their ducks back into the pond as this would screw up the whole system, and that no one drowned. So easy, even a caveman Dad could do it.

After I put in my time, I caught up with Ella and the kids and we played some games. My favorite moment of the day was when Zed refused to come out of the bounce house. Ella had to go in after him. He ran from her inside the house, giggling the entire time as he watched her fall down every few feet. I really wish I had video of that.

Before we left, we ran into the Chick-Fil-A cow. Zed ran right up to him and squeezed the cow for all he was worth. Zed started flapping and the cow flapped right back. This made Zed hug the cow a few more times.

Guess we won't be going to Disney World anytime soon. I really don't want to spend all my time keeping Zed from humping the princesses' legs.

Song of the day: Formed A Band by Art Brut