Zoey had her five-year checkup yesterday afternoon. We went through the normal drill: weight, height, eye exam, and all that jazz. Then the nurse threw us a curve ball: she needed a urine sample from Zoey. She told me to have Zoey sit on the toilet backwards while I held the cup beneath her.
Want to know how it played out? I stood Zed next to the toilet and pinned him against the wall with my knee. I used one hand to support Zoey and held the cup with the other hand. We were in and out in sixty seconds.
Ok. That's how it happened in my head. Want to know how it really played out?
I freaked out because I have a tendency to freak out in situations such as these. Zoey freaked out because her legs were too short to straddle the toilet backwards. She started squirming around and developed a case of "stage fright," probably feeding off of my stress.
The cup ended up in the toilet.
And where was Zed during all of this?
Playing in the urinal.
Fun day!
GHS: 6
Song of the day: Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli
Why I Could Never Run Away, Join The Circus, And Become A Contortionist
