Time to bring out my writer's crutch! Here are some recent interesting/amusing/demented search phrases people have used to get to my site:
chicken pox man
They're really running out of ideas for comic book villains.
im better than her im better better than her
Oh yeah? Well I'm better better better than you!
do it yourself laser hair removal
You're braver than I am. And stupider, too.
hip bedtime songs baby
Do I have the perfect CD for you!
going to preschool is better than staying at home
Truer words have never been spoken.
how to answer the phone
1. Pick up phone.
2. Put phone to ear.
3. Say "hello."
Coming next time: how to wipe your own ass.
hey kid taste that piss and tell me if it's human
Yum!
is there a warrant out for me
Google is not your parole officer.
my children won't leave me alone!
I know! It's a major pain in the ass. They expect you to feed them and play with them and stuff.
we hate mix tapes
You are the Antichrist.
birthday invites wrestling
Because there's no better way to celebrate little Bobby Joe's fifth birthday than with invitations featuring 'roided-out freaks.
i hate my daughters punk rock image
And she hates your Corporate America image. What do you think causes that punk rock image of hers?
girls fighting until their shirts are off clips
Someone's been watching too many beer commercials. Or not enough.
having a party at mcdonalds
Worst birthday party ever.
kid kills father over cake
Ignore my previous response.
things to do on a boring night
Read Cynical Dad! Disclaimer: it won't actually make your evening any less boring.
beanie baby clothes punk
It's sad enough someone still has beanie babies. It's sadder still that this person dresses his beanie babies.
why do people have unibrows?
Because they're not fully evolved.
bed sheets after vomit
Should be changed. Quickly. As in now.
toilet training parade
Sarah? Have you tried this yet?
And my favorite search term of the month:
brett michaels cow outfit
And I bet all you cows out there thought you were going to have to be horses for the umpteenth Halloween in a row!
Song of the day: (Nothing But) Flowers by Talking Heads
The Amazing Chicken Pox Man, Toilet Training Parades, And Costumes For Cows
