Know Thy Enemy
Pretend you're me.Ok. That probably doesn't sound very appealing to you, so pretend you're you in the following situation:
Your children are sick so you are hurrying to Target to have some prescriptions filled. You are driving through the shopping center when you come upon a group of eight people that just exited a nearby restaurant. They are standing in the middle of the road. Six of them look at you. None of them move. Do you
- Wait patiently until they decide to move.
- Honk your horn.
- Run them over. Back up and finish the job if necessary.
But wait! We're not done yet.
Seven of them move out of your way. One burly man glares at you and stands still for a few seconds. He finally moves just enough for you to drive your car past him. As you drive past, he hurls obscenities in your direction. Do you
- Ignore him.
- Smile and wave at him.
- Give him the finger.
- Speed away because the man is easily six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than you.
Someday, someone will kill me. It's just a matter of when.
Unhealthy Competition
I have come to the conclusion that is better to have two sick children than one sick child and one healthy child. With one sick, you've got one that wants to be held constantly and the other one bouncing off the walls wanting attention. With two sick, you can all curl up on the couch and read a book or watch TV.Unless they're both whining. That's no fun.
Unfortunately, my kids have decided to have a little competition during their current bout with a virus. Zed managed to get his fever up to 104.0° whereas all Zoey could muster was a 103.2° temperature. And then he further upped the ante by developing an allergic reaction (rash) to amoxicillin.
But there's always tomorrow, girl!
All Grandmothers Are Currently On Notice
Zoey and I were playing the other day. We were making a tent in the playroom. She said, "Let's have a sleepover. And eat lots of junk. And not brush our teeth. We'll have junk in our teeth!"I have no idea where she got this from, but I have my suspicions (I'm looking at you, Grandmas). But I shouldn't worry. They're just practice teeth anyway.
More Than Just A Bit, Actually
I would like to thank Liz Copeland at Associated Content for mentioning my site in her roundup of daddy blogs. But the coolest part? She summed me up perfectly in six little words: "A bit shy, a bit off."I think that should be my new slogan.
