Observations from this weekend's trip to Concord Mills, North Carolina's #1 tourist attraction:
- New Moon! New Moon! New Moon! New Moon! New Moon! That shit was everywhere.
- Case in point: I saw two men in their mid-thirties walking through the mall. One had a shirt which read "I Run With Vampires" on the front and "Team Edward" on the back. The other was wearing a shirt which read "I Run With Werewolves" on the front and "Team Jacob" on the back. If you're a guy who's that old and you wear a t-shirt which reads "I Run With Vampires" or "I Run With Werewolves," the only thing it should say on the back is "But I Still Live In My Parents' Basement."
- The Lego store is very cool. However, I think it's cheaper to buy a real house than a Lego house.
- I was disappointed with Planet 51.
- If you ever go to Concord Mills (it is North Carolina's #1 tourist attraction, after all), keep an eye open for The Slow Train O' Pain. It doesn't ride on a track, it just chugs through the mall where the pedestrians walk. The driver rings a bell to alert unsuspecting pedestrians of its presence, but I still saw four people almost get run over by the damn thing. I wonder how many people get hit by The Slow Train O' Pain each day?
- Judging by the huge crowd that was there on Saturday, I would suspect a person wouldn't be able to move in Concord Mills when it opens at midnight on Black Friday. Yet I'm still contemplating braving the midnight crowd on Black Friday. It helps that they're holding a contest for a night's stay at the Great Wolf Lodge.
- They might have had this in place forever, but I saw a rent-a-cop patrolling the mall on a Segway. Can't a shoplifter or surly teenager outrun a Segway simply by crawling away? But I would love to see the Segway take on The Slow Train O' Pain in a game of Chicken. Maybe that could be part of the Black Friday festivities.
- I would think that it would suck to be a mall Santa. But as I passed Santa's throne, I noticed seven sorority girls from Kappa Kappa HotAsHell sitting on his lap or kneeling in front of him. Maybe his job isn't so bad after all.
