Dear Ashley Tisdale--
I see you have a new movie, Aliens In The Attic, opening today. Actually, it took several viewings of the commercial before I even realized you were in the movie. You decided not to do The Suite Life On Deck so you could concentrate on dreck like this?
You should have parlayed the Sharpay role into a lucrative movie career by now. I realize your cast mate, Vaneesa Hudgens, isn't doing much better, but I do see her face CONSTANTLY in the trailer for Bandslam, in which she plays the girl with silent 5. Apparently, Gabriella not only got the guy, she got the career as well (or at the very least, the screen time).
Listen, Ash (can I call you Ash?). You need to shed the Disney image before you wake up one day to discover you signed on to play the mom in the umpteenth remake of Freaky Friday. I have a brilliant suggestion that will successfully remove those mouse ears from your noggin: take a small role in a indie movie helmed by a respected director. Make sure you appear topless in said role.
And should you foolishly decide not to follow my advice, I hope Phineas And Ferb has a nice long run.
Hugs & Kisses,
Chag
An Open Letter To Ashley Tisdale
