If you are with the press and would like to conduct an interview with me or request high-resolution copies of the images below along with sixteen unpublished ones, please email me at cynicaldad@gmail.com.
I have always believed that encounters with UFOs, Bigfoot, Chupacabras, sea monsters, and other unexplained phenomena happened to people who lived out in the sticks that had just stumbled upon them, usually after drinking. Most scientists, researchers, and people with an interest in said phenomena never seem to find themselves face-to-face with the unexplained.
Until now.
On the morning of June 19, 2009, I had just put on my swimming trunks, grabbed my camera, and was riding the elevator to meet my wife, kids, and in-laws for a morning swim. As the elevator to the pool opened, I saw my wife standing there.
"Good! You have your camera!" she yelled. "Come quick! Something washed ashore!"
We hurried through the pool area and onto the beach. I saw a pickup truck parked about three hundred feet away on the beach. A small crowd had gathered in front of the truck. "What is it?" I asked my wife as we neared the crowd. "A turtle," she replied.
When we reached the beast, I could plainly see it was no turtle. I had no idea what it was, but I knew it wasn't a turtle. But a Top Secret Federal Agent an Animal Control Officer was telling anyone and everyone who would listen that given its size, she estimated we were looking at the remains of a fifty-year-old sea turtle. I estimated that she was full of shit.
Why?
Several reasons:
- It had an extremely long neck. I've seen turtles; their heads barely poke out from beneath their shells. Unless this was some sort of rare Giraffe Turtle or something, it was no turtle.
- The
Top Secret Federal AgentAnimal Control Officer spray painted a giant X across the beast's back. She claimed in case the tide took the animal back into the ocean before they were able to remove it, they would know that this was the same turtle should it wash ashore again. I have no idea what would cause her to spray paint (or even if it was paint in the can) an X across the sea creature's back, but her reasoning didn't make sense to me. - Within moments of calling it in to headquarters, a backhoe appeared and scooped up the sea creature. How long does it take to have a dead animal removed from the side of the road? Days? Weeks? Definitely not minutes.
- Someone asked the
Top Secret Federal AgentAnimal Control Officer if they were going to test the animal. She told us all that they would send it to the City Incinerator. Really? A fifty-year-old sea turtle washes ashore and you don't want to try to figure out how and why it died? This was obviously a lie so that we wouldn't ask any further questions and wouldn't try to follow up with the city days later to see what they discovered. - And finally, what the hell was Animal Control doing there? The creature was dead, why did it need to be controlled? I have a theory: the government felt this was a baby sea monster and was afraid its mother would soon come ashore, wreaking havoc as it searched for its baby.
And I have the photos to prove it!
Warning: The following images are graphic in nature. Please stop reading if you suffer from heart trouble, high blood pressure, back or neck injuries, or if you are or think you may be pregnant. Thank you.
This was the first photo I took of the beast:
Sorry I couldn't get closer to the creature. I wanted to get down on my belly, right up in its grill, and snap away. But I was afraid the
Here is a photo taken after the
It was at this point that I realized I had nothing in my photos that would show how big the sea monster was. So while the
Here's a photo of the backhoe preparing to scoop up the sea monster so it could begin its journey to the "City Incinerator:"
I have a friend who works in Forensics at the LA Police Department. They have this software that allows you to scan in photos of skulls and bones and it will fill in the image with skin, hair, etc., to give the police an idea of what the deceased might have looked like. As a huge favor, he ran a few of my photos through the program and was able to come up with a composite sketch.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold The Myrtle Beach Sea Monster!
