"OH GOD! DID YOU SEE THAT?" Ella screamed in a volume normally reserved for orgasms or when one spots a Chupacabra or Bigfoot.
"See what?" I asked.
"THAT CREATURE NEAR THE POND!"
Creature? She definitely had my attention. "What did It look like?"
"I don't know. I just saw It out of the corner of my eye. It was down by the pond, drinking water."
I asked my daughter and son if they saw It, but they were no help. So I turned the car back around, hoping I could catch a glimpse of the Creature.
"THERE! LOOK! THERE IT IS! DOWN BY THE WATER!"
I saw It standing at the edge of the retaining pond in front of the church. It was a grey Beast, as big as a medium-sized dog. As we got closer to the Creature, I noticed something. "Honey, that thing's not moving."
"That's because it's drinking water!"
"No. I think it's because it's a statue."
As we pulled up next to the pond, we discovered that I was right: it was just a statue that looked like it was drinking from the pond. But we still couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be. It was grey and had an arched back, like a cat ready to strike. "What the hell is that thing?" she asked.
"I don't know. A Chupacabra?"
"You wish, Monster Boy. I think it's a wolf or something."
"Yeah, it looks kind of like a small wolf. But what the hell is it doing down here?"
"No idea."
This was not an isolated incident. We have noticed several of these statues at different retaining ponds around our town, usually at churches. While I initially wrote it off as cult activity, a little Googling showed that the statues are coyotes.
What is the purpose of these coyote statues? To drive away geese.
But there's one little problem: the geese are just as afraid of the coyotes as they are of me. Every time we see one of these statues, there are always at least two geese nearby. Hell, even the teeniest goslings aren't afraid of the stupid coyote statues.
But the coyotes do serve a purpose. Every time we drive by one of the statues, my daughter will yell from the backseat, "Mommy! I see a Creature!" I laugh. Ella glares. It never gets old.
The family that rags each other, stays together.
Creature From The Church Pond
