People who doubt the existence of Bigfoot like to say, "If Bigfoot existed, we would've found a dead one by now."
Stupid nonbelievers. Everyone knows that the reason no one's found a dead Bigfoot is because dead Bigfoot is the main diet of the Chupacabra.
So I drove up to Richmond today. And back. I am not there now. I'm here.
From Durham to I-95 in SomewhereIDon'tKnow, Virginia, it's nothing but trees.
Trees, trees, trees. For millions of miles.
Or maybe just 40.
Can't we cut a few of them down and build a Walmart? Or at least a freaking gas station every twenty miles or so?
Listen to David Byrne, people!
But no. To hell with the weary traveler.
They say the dense forests in the Pacific Northwest could easily sustain Bigfoot. I have never been to the Pacific Northwest, so I do not know if that is true or not.
Since I have never been to the Pacific Northwest and have not seen a dead Pacific Northwest, it must not exist. Adios, Seattle!
But I have been to Virginia. Bigfoot could easily survive and thrive undetected in those miles after miles of forest.
I need some sleep.
Song of the day: You Are Boring The Shit Out Of Me by The Hanslick Rebellion
They Say
