Today is a special day for me: Dave from Blogography is filling in for me! I've been a fan of Dave's site for over two years now (yeah, I always arrive late to the party). Dave is a very talented guy: he's a great writer, takes amazing photographs, and is an incredible artist/illustrator (my apologies, Dave, if I'm saying that wrong). He blogs daily about his thoughts, things he enjoys, and things that piss him off, and often includes a cartoon of Lil' Dave and Bad Monkey. I'm sure most of you are already reading his site, but if you're not, you should really check out Blogography.
This is not Chag.
My name is Dave, and I have my very own blog called "Blogography."
For reasons which mystify even me, I have been selected to write a guest-entry here at Cynical Dad. This is ironic on a number of levels, not the least of which being that I am neither cynical nor a dad.
Well, okay, maybe I'm a little cynical.
Mostly about becoming a dad.
This was not always the case. There was a time when my main goal in life was to fulfill the American Dream by getting married and laying claim to my 2.5 children. On top of being a nice tax deduction, they would also provide a convenient scapegoat when you go buy yourself a cool new toy (like the latest Star Wars LEGO set) or awesome snack-foods (like Hello Kitty gummy treats). Everybody will assume that you're buying this stuff for your kids, so you can then play with your LEGO and eat Hello Kitty gummies free from judgement (just so long as your kids never find where you hide them).
But things never seemed to work out. In my twenties I was too busy having fun to be tied down and raise a family. In my thirties I was too selfish to sacrifice my time and money to settle down and raise a family. Now that I've reached my forties, I'm too set in my ways to be beat down and raise a family. I'd try to be sad about it all, but knowing I won't have to pay for braces when my kids hit puberty is a pretty cool consolation prize...
Instead I'm content to borrow other people's kids from time to time. Kind of like a rental program for guys who want to taste the Kool-Aid without having to commit to buying an entire picture of the stuff. You get many of the benefits of being a dad, but with a no-penalty, full-return policy at the end of the day.
But, alas, no kids of my own. At least none that I can foresee.
So do I have any regrets?
Kind of.
Did you know that your kids count towards qualifying to drive in the carpool lane?
Braces
