- Hospitals are THE place to be on Saturday nights.
There were about a million people in the emergency room. I've never been to a club or a bar on a weekend that's been that crowded. - You're better off if you break something.
My mother was suffering from severe dehydration and it took us three hours until we were back in a room. Meanwhile, I watched person after person hobble in with a foot in the air and get called back within an hour. It got so bad that I said to my Mom, "Can you fall down and break something so we can move up the food chain?" She laughed, but failed to comply. - If you can't find a place to sit in the emergency room, wear a surgical mask.
There was a lady who I'm assuming had the flu or SARS or something and was asked to wear a mask. I saw her looking for a place to sit down and every time someone noticed her, that person spread his stuff out a little wider. Once she finally found a place to sit, every person near her got up and stood somewhere else. - There are entirely too many people in the emergency room wearing handcuffs.
One person wearing handcuffs in the emergency room is entirely too many. I counted four times that amount. - Having a blood alcohol level of .23 several hours after you've been arrested is damn impressive.
I just hope that lady felt worse than I did on Easter morn. - Hospitals could charge movie-concession prices (or more) in their vending machines and no one would bat an eye.
Their stuff was already overpriced but that didn't stop anyone. Hell, I made several trips during the eight hours we were there. They could've easily charged much more. - There are secret rooms in the hospital that no one knows about.
The hospital and its entire parking lot is smoke-free. But that didn't stop one handcuffed man from getting to smoke somewhere on the hospital's grounds. - If you're belligerent, you can get anything you desire.
See above. The man simply refused to do anything until he got a cigarette. I have no idea where they went, but he was back far too soon to have been driven off the property. - I am old.
I didn't get home until 3:00 AM and felt the effects all day long (I don't have a problem staying up that late, it's staying out that late that kills me). Time to start filling out the application for the AARP card. - Minivans are the new RVs.
Because I am old, I had to stop halfway on my thirty-mile drive home at a rest area to walk around and wake myself up. I counted six minivans in the parking lot. I'm assuming the minivans contained sleeping families because the men's room was deserted (of course, they could've been filled with women who were partying in the women's room) and the only people that drive minivans are parents and Chili Palmer. But seriously, there's no way in hell I would let my family sleep in a car in the rest area parking lot. Am I alone here?
Things I Learned While Spending Eight Hours In The Emergency Room On A Saturday Night
