I have always wanted to be a cryptozoologist.
If money were no object, I would scour the terrain of the Pacific Northwest for Bigfoot, travel to Scotland in search of the Loch Ness Monster, and, in my spare time, track down the Chupacabra, Ogopogo, the Jersey Devil, the Mothman, and everything else you've got. I would spend my days chasing monsters while those around me claimed I was crazy (which isn't too different from my current job description).
But since I don't have an unlimited supply of money and Skybus doesn't service Loch Ness, this fantasy lifestyle wasn't really an option.
Until now.
This weekend, CNN ran a report on the Lizard Man of Bishopville, South Carolina, a 7-foot-tall bipedal lizard that likes to wreck property. According to a recent report, the beast clawed and bit through a car and may have eaten a pet or two in the process.
Despite the fact that the Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp lives in my backyard, I had never heard of it until this weekend. But I'm rectifying this oversight. I've been researching the creature, charting his sightings and compiling his turn-ons and turn-offs.
This summer, when we make our yearly trek to Myrtle Beach, I'm going to make a stop in Bishopville and capture the Lizard Man.
Alive, of course.
Song of the day: Monster by The Automatic
The Monster Hunter
