Dear Two-Year-Old Boys--
You don't know it yet, but you're probably going to be very pissed at me when you open your presents on Christmas morning. Consider this my apology.
I'm sure you were hoping to get cars and trucks, some Diego stuff, a few dinosaurs, a pimped-out tricycle, and probably a lot of other licensed character merchandise. You sat proudly on Santa's lap a few weeks ago and shyly said, "Spider-Man" when the fat man asked what you wanted for Christmas. I'm sure you've all been pestering your parents on an hourly basis, wanting to know when Christmas will come.
I can imagine your cherubic faces waking up Christmas morning, wiping the sleep from your eyes, and running to your family's Christmas tree. Your loving parents will hand you a present which you will think will be that Elmo doll you've been eyeing in the Target toy section.
I can see you wildly ripping the wrapping paper from the gift. But then your smiles fade as you discover the gift is not an Elmo doll.
Nope. It's going to be a fucking lap harp.
Sorry about that. You see, there's this thing called Google where people go to find information about everything. You can type the word poop into Google and get tons of information about poop. Even pictures! Pretty cool, huh?
Many people have used Google during the holiday season to help them search for gifts for their loved ones. People like your Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, friends, and other family members. People who love you.
So when they typed in best gift for a two year old boy, toys two year old boy, perfect gift for 2 year old boy, or something similar, there's a very good chance they ended up here (based on my log files, which have shown about 40 hits/day for such search terms for the past month and a half). I wrote about buying my son a lap harp for his second birthday and named the post The Perfect Gift For A Two-Year-Old Boy. Now what might be perfect for my son might not be perfect for you, but Google doesn't know that. So once again, I apologize.
If you're still pissed off at me, come over to my house and play on Christmas morning. Zed will be getting dinosaurs, cars, and other cool stuff.
Because I didn't need to ask Google what to get him for Christmas.
Hugs & Kisses,
Uncle Chag
Song of the day: Jingle Bell Rock by Hall & Oates
An Open Letter To The Army Of Toddlers Who Will Want To Burn Down My House On Christmas Morn
