Here's a special guest post from Steve from The Hygiene Chronicles. He wanted to talk smack about someone that reads his site. So I let him do it on my site. What are friends for?
And if you're not reading Steve, you really should. He's a fellow father, has a soft spot for hair bands, is funny as hell, and is the hottest gay daddy blogger in the DC area.
A few weeks ago, I came to the realization that there are certain topics you just can't write about on your blog because of those people who read it. The people at my last job seem to keep close tabs on me because
- They are insanely interested in what I'm doing with my life.
- I keep slamming their business ethics under the company pseudonym of Imagine.
I left Imagine over a year ago. It truly was one of the worst places I had ever worked. If you were a teacher to or have middle or high school aged children, our company was responsible for those "exclusive invitations to an elite leadership program for high achievers." Umm, utter bullshit. We sent those out to 600,000 kids a year and signed up nearly 15,000 at $2000 a pop.
Like any job, you meet people who you inevitably become friendly with. However, let's qualify this: most times, you are friends only because you are in the same office for forty hours a week. Only a select few will become dear friends that stay with you long after one of you departs.
For some reason, most of the people from Imagine haven't learned this lesson.
Russ was fired from Imagine on June 30, 2005. He worked for me. Imagine was suffering (enrollments had fallen to only 14,500) and they used this mere reduction in cash flow to purge a part of their workforce that didn't produce. Russ truly was (and is) a bad worker. I never hired him but I got stuck with him because they felt we'd get along and I might be able to change him.
Ever heard the one about a leopard and his spots? Yeah… that was Russ.
Russ was most interested in reality TV, video games, XM radio, and anything else that sounded fun and had nothing to do with work. We were both 39, had families, and were fourteen years older than everyone else in our division. He was the closest to me in similarity, but supervising him was a joke.
Luckily Russ was part of the 2005 purge. The departure of Russ and the other twenty-two began the demise of Imagine, so I began my own job search.
But Russ kept calling.
At first, it was about help with a resume or advice on job searching. It was sad to see a forty-year-old who had basic level resume-writing skills striving to promote all the wrong skills. For one retail job, he actually listed the fact that he wore a "Clifford The Big Red Dog suit at a children's event" before listing he had supervisory skills.
Am I illustrating how much we had in common?
Anyway, Russ called every month. Wait, did I write that in past tense? He calls every month… over two years later.
Every month, I'll receive voice mails that say, "Dude, are you watching the 5th grader show? It's hysterical." "Hey, what did you think about America's top amazing talented ____?" "Dude, can you give me a reference for being a substitute teacher? You won't believe it, they'll let me bring a portable DVD into the class to watch."
Not to sound catty (too late, huh?) but that's not exactly the type of teacher I'd like to be giving references for.
So the sad part is… he still calls. Part of me wants to point out that we weren't really friends; we just chatted due to circumstance. I know he may be lonely, but is it my problem he's still unemployed two years later?
I haven't called Russ back in almost 4 months and I believe the calls will stop eventually, but for he love of God, can you imagine what it would be like to break up with the man?
Dude, stop calling already!
Song of the day: The Gas Face by 3rd Bass
