Like I needed something else in my life to stress out about.
Zoey is in her final year of preschool (Note to self: Resist the urge to get all sentimental and blather on and on about how your baby's all grown up and will be starting kindergarten next year) and is actually learning things this year. Every week, the class focuses on a different letter of the alphabet.
All the crafts they make start with this letter.
All the books they read start with this letter.
And once a week, they have Show And Tell. If they bring in an item that starts with the featured letter, they get a stamp on their hand. If not, no stamp.
And every parent knows just how important stamps are at this age.
They started us off easy. First week was R. Second week was T. We had plenty of items that started with those letters.
This week's letter was I.
Ten minutes before we were due to leave the house, I remembered that today was Show And Tell. I started thinking of words that started with the letter I. Plenty of words came to mind. Unfortunately, no correlating toys came to mind. So I decided to freak out.
I started frantically searching the playroom, tossing toys around, and mumbling to myself like those silhouetted heads from The Electric Company:
I... guana. Iguana.
We don't have an iguana.
I... gloo. Igloo.
Do they even make toy igloos?
I came t-h-i-s close to stuffing myself in her backpack and letting her take me for Show And Tell.
Teacher: Zoey? What did you bring for Show And Tell today?
Zoey: My Daddy. He's an idiot.
Finally, I found a plastic ice cream cone. I showed it to Zoey and she approved. We were only five minutes late for school.
But all of this got me to thinking. If I had this much trouble finding something that started with the letter I, what the hell am I going to do when we get to the really tough letters?
Q? Let her take one of my Queen CDs?
X? No idea. We don't own a xylophone.
Z? We don't have a toy zebra. Or a real zebra. She could always point to her crotch and show everyone her zipper.
And I'm sure there are other letters that might seem easy but aren't (like the damned I). Which is why this weekend I'm going to make a chart and plan out her Show And Tell items for the rest of the year.
Suggestions?
Other than to chill the hell out? Because that's not an option.
The stamps, man. The stamps. The child must receive her stamps.
There's No I In Team (Or Anything Else In Our Home)
