Ancient

The girl across the street just returned from her post-high-school-graduation beach trip. You can still make out Senior Week '06 written in soap on her car window (along with Beach Or Bust and some other inane saying).

I graduated high school in 1988.

Do you know what that means?

There's a chance she was born on the day I graduated high school.

Christ.

But that got me to thinking. If everything goes to plan, I will be fifty when Zoey graduates high school.

Fifty!

5. 0.

I'll be 53 when Zed graduates. How am I supposed to flirt with Zoey's high school chums in my dentures and Depends?

Now, if you'll excuse me, Grandpa has to go take his Metamucil.

Anyone else feeling old today?