When Kara first approached me about writing something for her Mother's Day Bloggect, I was hesitant. I could write about the very healthy relationship I have with my own mother. Or I could write about my wife, Ella, who I have watched over the years morph from a girlfriend to a wife to a loving and caring mother. But I'm not too hot at writing mushy, from-the-heart stuff, so I decided to switch gears.
I have decided to find the coolest mother immortalized in song.
THE RUNNERS-UP
LL Cool J Mama Said Knock You OutLook. I've got dads in my neighborhood encouraging their sons to fight. I thought mothers were more civil. Guess I was wrong.
Fountains Of Wayne Stacy's Mom
Who exactly is Stacy's Mom? Is she Rachel Hunter, exposing a new generation to Fast Times At Ridgemont High fantasies and single-handedly defining MILF? Or is she the soccer mom from the Dr. Pepper commercials? Until we can get a definite answer, the jury's out.
Queen Bohemian Rhapsody
This mother is kind enough to listen to her son's homicidal confession. She could've been a contender for the coolest mother crown if I could just rid my mind of the images of Wayne and Garth headbanging to the song.
Queen Tie Your Mother Down
Any mother that has to be tied down is definitely not cool. Unless you're her husband.
Pink Floyd Mother
Most Domineering Mother Ever. Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you? Mama's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you? Mama will always find out where you've been? Actually, this sounds like the type of father I'm going to be to Zoey. Definitely not cool.
Willie Nelson Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
Seriously. Haven't these women seen Brokeback Mountain?
Slade Mama Weer All Crazee Now
To even be considered in the running for coolest mother immortalized in song, your children must be able to spell simple words.
Lenny Kravitz Always On The Run
Bonus points for hanging with George Jefferson. Negative points for speaking like a fortune cookie (It's good to be fruitful, Your life is a gift). No wonder Lenny was always running from her.
AND THE WINNER IS
Ray Wylie Hubbard Redneck MotherHer son is drinking at a honky-tonk, kicking hippies' asses and raising hell at thirty-four? Sounds like the good life to me. That woman is a Mother Of The Year candidate. Plus, this song includes the following poem applicable to mothers everywhere:
M is for the mud flaps she gave me for my pickup truck
O is for the oil I put on my hair
T is for T-Bird
H is for Haggard
E is for Eggs
R is for Redneck
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The preceding was part of Kara's Mother's Day Bloggect. Be sure to check out the other entries as well (which are all much more interesting than mine).
