At 5:00 PM today, Zoey returned home from a long weekend at Granny's house. Ella wasn't home from work yet, so I got all the kisses and hugs and I missed yous all to myself for a change. It was nice.
Ella came home around 7:00 PM and I went to pick us up some subs at a nearby deli. On my way there, my cellular phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Ella: What happened to Zoey's hair?!
Me: What are you talking about?
Ella: She has a huge chunk of hair missing! Your Mom didn't tell you?
Me: No.
Ella: I can't believe you didn't notice it. If I get half a centimeter of my hair cut off you can spot it a mile away.
Me: Let me call my Mom.
So I called my Mom.
Granny: Hello?
Me: Were you hoping we wouldn't notice Zoey's hair?
Granny: Oh yeah. I meant to tell you about that.
Me: Yeah, I bet.
Granny: Really, I forgot to tell you. I meant to...
Me: You told me every little detail about this weekend and you accidentally omit the part where she cut her hair off? What happened?
Granny: I just left her alone for a minute while I used the bathroom. She had been cutting paper with her scissors when I left.
So she left Zoey alone with a pair of scissors to amuse herself with. What? There wasn't a gun or a chainsaw available?
Granny: And when I came back out she said, "Granny, I snipped my hair."
Me: You know you can't leave her alone for a second.
Granny: I know that now. But they had rounded edges.
Now I know there comes a time in every child's life when the child does something to his/her hair (put gum in it, stick a lollipop on it, cut it when Granny leaves the room, etc.) that forces parents to rectify the situation and try to salvage the remains into a semi-fashionable 'do. I just wasn't expecting this moment at such an early age.
In the interest of full disclosure, Zoey gets to play with scissors at our house as well. And our scissors have rounded edges just like her Granny's scissors. But our scissors are plastic, so the only thing she can really cut with her plastic scissors is Play-Doh (which she does day after day after day. Thank God for hardwoods!). But she's never unsupervised when she's playing with her plastic scissors. I also make her wear a welder's mask and gardening gloves when she's using her plastic scissors, but that's a different story altogether.
Anyway, I returned home from the deli and surveyed the damage. Sure enough, there was about a 1/2" x 1 1/2" strip of hair missing.
The bad part? She had cut her bangs. So we're really only left with three options:
- Buy a wig (Maybe if it was winter, but it's still too hot for that).
- Cut the rest of her hair the same length as the offending hairs (But this would leave her sporting a Boys Don't Cry-era Hilary Swank 'do. Um, no thank you.).
- Let it be (Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!).
And this is why.
